Loneliness is not always about being alone. Sometimes it is about feeling unseen, disconnected or at odds with the life we have and the life we expected for ourselves today.
“Sometimes loneliness comes from being at odds with the life we have and the life we thought we would have.”
It has always struck me how often we talk about loneliness as though it means being alone. During COVID, loneliness became part of our everyday language. Isolation made sense: we were physically separated from the people we loved.
But some of the loneliest people I meet aren’t alone at all.
They have partners, children, friends, families and colleagues. Their phones ping. People would notice if they disappeared. They are loved.
And yet, they feel deeply alone.
Because loneliness isn’t always about who is around us. Sometimes it’s about what is happening inside us.
And strangely, when we feel lonely, many of us retreat inwards rather than reach out. We don’t ask for help. We might even know that help is there. We know people care and wouldn’t want us to struggle alone.
Yet still, we hide.
Sometimes loneliness comes from being at odds with the life we have and the life we thought we would have. It lives in our regrets. The things we did. The things we didn’t do. The relationships that changed. The people we lost. The decisions we made and the ones we’re still frightened to make.
Perhaps that’s why loneliness can feel so loud in a room full of people.
It isn’t necessarily saying, “Nobody is here.”
Sometimes it’s saying, “Nobody really knows what it feels like to be me right now.”
So I’ll leave you with this:
Have you ever felt completely alone, despite being surrounded by people who love you?